Compassion for the self

Date: 11 February 2018 | Written by: admin

In life compassion for ourselves becomes what we lack in an ever progressive world. How can we have compassion for the suffering of others, when we don’t our own. Many of us surround ourselves with the attitude of nothing being our problem. ‘It’s not my problem,’ ‘It’s not me,’ ‘I can’t make a difference.’ ‘Get over it.’ ‘Wasn’t that bad.’ ‘Be strong like me.’ ‘Stop being too sensitive.’ ‘Stop whining.’ ‘Stop being a victim.’ All of these are rooted in a mindset of dishonoring someones feeling state, and experience. Which we don’t have to like. However, does the above help a person to validate there feelings or serve us to condemn others for having them? The difference we make to the lives of others never has to be thought of on a grand scale.

One simple act of kindness may mean nothing for some, yet everything to somebody. We are not asked to rescue others or save them. Truly a person can only save themselves. It’s rather to realise that while our problems may be big or small, that everyone in there seemingly perfect lives has problems.

The compassion for ourselves naturally changes how we respond to others who are suffering. We no longer set time limits on how long something should take for others to get over.  We no longer victimize others for there suffering, simply because we are victimizing ourselves in the presence of our own feelings. We are always first in what we feel.

Compassion doesn’t mean saving the world but saving ourselves to be able to put something into the world. What we put into the world can soothe a heart, and uplift others. We don’t have to send anyone away empty hearted, even if we send them away empty handed. We can always offer a smile, kind phrase or re-direct a person in the direction they can get help from, if not helping them ourselves. We can never know how much we add to the lives of other people, and in turn what they add to the lives of others. Compassion starts with ourselves not by giving it to others first, but by giving it to ourselves first. Many people are able to give compassion to others easily but it’s not complete without ourselves in the equation.

We must become aware of the compassion we give to others and feel utterly worthy to receive it for whom we are also. We cant truly feel compassion for others while feeling we don’t don’t deserve it because that compassion isn’t total. When compassion is total we become like a transparent window where its light saturates ourselves and others. We reach for people with our compassion to understand there pain whether physically aiding them or not.

Wherever we play the victimizer we must also play the victim. In many cases, the victimizer becomes the expression of the victim. We are asked to offer this part of ourselves understanding and see ourselves as a holistic whole.  We must also be careful that we don’t withhold compassion from others because of there social standing, reputation, beliefs, race, culture and various other factors. Compassion becomes hard to apply to those we feel are not able to to give it, and those we see who have hurt others. In some ways what we withhold from others is what we withhold from ourselves. 

If you can give yourself to the arms of your own compassion then this becomes the motion of how you live your life, in sickness, negative feelings, hurt distress and anger. All states are natural. It’s then we can be grateful that we can experience these things and use them as benefit for our own lives, and then in turn in benefit for others. We are not asked to cut down hurt or pain in ourselves or others but change how we interact with it. We can stop viewing people as weak, or strong, simply because how we view our own qualities is unique. Much of our perception is decided by others, and is taught by others and can also be personal. It’s time to decide your own values, beliefs and create the way you want to see.  Every person has the capacity for compassion by starting with themselves. It starts by accepting that perfection does not exist. To be perfect by being imperfect. Start by accepting that you are good enough, and that is all you will ever be. Enough!

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