I used to think that thinking positive would change my life, it didn’t. In times things didn’t go well, I would self-attack and blame myself, blaming my thinking.’If I just think positive.’ Which led to feelings of inadequacy and no worth. Instead of addressing the reality that not everything would be positive in life. Many of my earlier years would be lived that way, in denial. However true spirituality has nothing to do with being positive any more than it has to do with being negative. Spirituality was about life, which contained all. And finding your way in that. As much of spirituality has gone off the deep end. Years after meeting the sexually abused, the bullied, traumatized, disabled, those who have been physically beaten. They all lived with emotional scars, there was no quick fix, no overnight fix. After such abuse people moved forward while denying what happened, never dealing with it. Later to have the same happen or live a sugar-coated life where love and light were enough.
In meeting many spiritual and non-spiritual people, some would say how they loved and forgave there partners, only to endure the same and same again. ‘But i love him, and i forgive him.’ As though it was enough to change the abuse of a physically abusive person. Many had convinced themselves it was enough. Much of peoples positivity had led people to be victimers and a sense of apathy or a lack of compassion. In fact many people who were positive, not only attacked what was not, but they cast a huge shadow. In some regards the quick fix overnight mentality, of i can solve all your problems for £9.99 was present. So was the mentality of thinking positive as the cure all. The reality was these women didn’t love themselves enough. They didn’t have to stop loving the people who hurt them in there lives, but they would endure years of inner work to repair their low self-esteem, confidence and the way they related to others, and themselves. That was real.
The stories would come in of women, who would blame themselves for not being positive all of the time, ‘only if they loved and gave their partners more,’ Not realizing that there love and forgiveness was perpetuating abuse because it lacked essential parts. It was a huge price to pay. Love and light alone didn’t change their abusive relationships. It enabled abuse, as the entire picture of love was not complete for themselves, let alone included themselves. If love and forgiveness continue to have you be abused, stepped on disrespected then it’s not real love. Real love is about respect, and healthy boundaries.
Also dealing with abuse, as well as there abusive partners committing to some kind of therapy. With the right skills, action, alongside optimism, self-love, and occasional support things could be dealt with.. Because that was human, and also spiritual. That was real. Taking action, alongside changing your beliefs and being optimistic changes a life. Its easy for many people to be blinded by the quick fix of love and light as the cure all. However, if it lacks other necessary things it can be damaging. Spirituality is a massive part of my life, just as love is in that it is as essential as breath. Without it life is not complete, and relationships wont last. In my earlier years i used to think love alone was enough. Just as a tree has branches, leaves and roots. Love needs other realities to be.